Well, what can I say about Ghost Recon? It’s not exactly the greatest game I’ve played but it’s certainly not the worst (Homefront! FUCK THAT GAME!) Anyways, Ghost Recon isn’t a bad game it’s just average. Everything about the game is just average. The Story, the dialogue, the level design and even the graphics are average. Again I’ll make a list of why these things piss me off.
1.
THE STORY
Well, what can you say about the original
story line of a terrorist groups gathering weapons large enough to blow the fuck out of America? HUH!? WHAT THE FUCK CAN YOU SAY? IT BEEN DONE BEFORE! LET’S MOVE ON!
IT ALL ENDS THE SAME WAY! THE FUCKING AMERICANS
WIN! I mean it’s not like I mind the Americans winning every FUCKING TIME.
2.
THE FUCKING
DIALOGUE
I know games like this aren’t meant to be
amazingly witty during combat or during the cut scenes but FUCK me. During combat if there are shitload of bad
guys all of your guys will say at one point during the fight “KEEP THE PRESSURE
ON GUYS!” or “WE GOT THIS” ok, I understand they tried to make it seem more
realistic like the people in your squad have souls, but they DON’T THEY HAVE FOUR
DIALOUGE LINES THAT THEY REPEAT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! SHUT UP!
3.
LEVEL DESIGN
Ok, the dickheads at Ubisoft did try a
little bit with this aspect of the game. SUPPOSEDLY (I use this term very
lightly and you’ll understand why in a second) you can choose wheather or not
you want to take the bad guys out quietly or just run in and stick your gun
into his face and end him. At the start of the game this works very well because
the levels are in the desert and there’s a lot of elbow room. On my first play
through of the game I did enjoy just wiping out platoons of people by telling
my squad to shoot them in the face was busy snapping the neck of some
unfortunate terrorist. BUT ALL GOOD THINGS ARE GENERALLY RUINED BY SHIT GAME DEVELOPERS (just
ask anyone who has finished mass effect 3) in later levels you’re in Russia (FUCK ME! FIRST IRAN AND NOW RUSSIA ON THE BOX IT MIGHT
AS WELL SAY “FUCK THESE COUNTRIES, AMERICANS AREN’T
ALLOWED TO LIKE THESE PEOPLE”) yes, I said Russia BECASUE WHAT SHOOTER HASN’T
PUT ITS DICK INTO THAT WELL USED HOLE ALREADY? Anyways, I hated the last few
levels because you had to run in and stick your gun into the face of the enemy.
There was just so many in such a tight space that it was impossible to sneak
past them or eliminate them four at a time because they’ll see the body.
Another thing that pisses me off about this
game is that, when the bad guys see a body...why the FUCK
do they instantly know where I am? FOR FUCKS
SAKE!
4.
THE GRAPHICS
During the cut scenes when you’re not in
the field and chilling on one of the many American war ships around the place
(I mean those things are like hookers, they’re just on everywhere) everyone but
your squad looks like complete and utter shit. WHY? BECASUE THEY’RE NOT
IMPORTANT. FUCK
ME. JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES MY DICK
WANT TO CRAWL BACK INSIDE ME! IT PISSES ME OFF! WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?
WARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
As a last but not least I’ll do a quick
side note thing about the multiplayer. Its average, just average (like the rest
of the fucking game) no-one plays it that means
no one bought the game (because it’s a pile of steaming shit) the levelling system
is shit. You have 3 different classes which level up separately (fair enough,
by the way the classes are standard and average; Assault, Engineer, scout) if
you play 3 games as the Americans then only your American scout will level up
and your Russian scout will still be shit and have none of the other shit that
your American scout has. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
UBISOFT? WHY? FUCK YOU! FUCK THIS GAME!
Oh yeah, and the hardest difficulty is
exactly the same as the lowest difficulty THIS GAME IS TOO FUCKING EASY! HALO IS TOO FUCKING
HARD! FUCK!
